we were robbed by headhunters

so, after the beautiful dancing, we literally turned around and there were about 30 people sitting on the floor, with little stands full of homemade goods for us to buy. tim whispered to me that he only had $100 ringgit, and that we'd have to get something cheap with his remaining money. so he opened his money, and all that was there was 12 ringgit!

we went to sarah and told her, and she was very sweet and sympathetic. we figured there was nothing we could do and started down to the other end of the room to see what we could buy with $4, and turned around and sarah was in tears, with her parents. someone had taken $500 AUS from her wallet as well! tim then checked our envelope of US $ and sure enough, there were some $20s missing. WE WERE ROBBED BY HEAD HUNTERS!

the gregorys called their guide, who had conveniently disappeared right before the shopping center opened, and he was good and pissed. we all stood there like idiots, checking our bags and wallets for about 15 minutes, with all these poor people sitting there wondering why we weren't buying their bracelets. the guides repeatedly told us this had never happened before, which didn't make much sense, since rosli told us to TAKE OUR CASH to the longhouse, not our valuables. finally, we went back to the guesthouse, where we debated for hours about who could have done it.

the theories were:
1. the little girls who were playing outside our rooms
2. the cockfighting kids, one of whom disappeared after the cockfight
3. someone from outside the longhouse community
4. the gregorys' driver, who didn't speak a word to them the entire time, had been hanging out in his room all night, who had left his bag in their room to begin with, and who was WEARING SHORTS WITH A YANKEES INSIGNIA ON THEM

now, i think we all know who did it. it was CLEARLY the yankees fan. more proof came when he suggested that all the guides do a 'spot check' and empty out their bags to prove they didn't have the money. clever, but we're onto you, pal! he clearly had stuffed our money into his yankees underwear, and then emptied his bag just to make himself look innocent. tim thinks i'm being paranoid...DO YOU? (i know crust will agree with me, having been viciously thieved from by a yankee fan--how's that for syntax?)

of course, it dawned on me about midnight, as we were lying in our room, on our mat, with our mossie net over us that we were staying with HEADHUNTERS. this thought was precipitated by bly, who kept talking about the repurcussions in the morning. so, i of course spent most of the night lying in bed, expecting a blowpipe dart to the head at any moment, followed by a saw to the neck. as you can see, it didn't happen! (feel free to praise god at any time for my untouched neck, marred only by prickly heat rash.) of course, it was nearly impossible to sleep anyway, with 3 guides snoring it up in the next room, roosters crowing like maniacs, dogs having some kind of bark convention, and then feral cats having a rumble under the house.

the gregorys left v early in the morning, and we woke up at about 7. we had breakfast and then the owner of the guesthouse came down and told us some rubbish about how in 2000, one of the locals had been arrested for stealing from tourists but went to prison and was not allowed back. so much for 'it's never happened before!'

when it was time to go, our boat driver (one of the cockfight boys) appeared, but would not make eye contact (maybe bly's theory was right--maybe they did steal the money!). he drove us back to the van, and since it had rained all night, the river was very high, so it took only 30 mins.

the ride back was fairly uneventful, apart from the fact that rosli kept falling asleep. tim fell asleep as soon as we got in the van, but i stayed up to keep an eye on rosli, who kept shaking his head to keep awake, yet still roaming over to the center of the road and the other lane! finally we hit a bump big enough to wake tim, and tim talked to him for a long time about hydroelectricity to keep him awake.

we got to the airport 4 hours before our flight, so we got bumped up to an earlier one, and we ran into the gregorys in the airport. they gave us the new goss from their guide, which was that rosli's girlfriend had stolen from the iban themselves, and was forbidden from coming to the longhouse ever again! bly figured that the kids had climbed across the rafters to get out, and that it was the cockfight kids. also, they rold us that their guide was unlicensed, and that the 2000 robber actually only went to jail last year, so it could have been him. WE WILL NEVER KNOW and it will make me crazy forever!